~~ Fun Kitty Stuff ~~

Ten Commandments of Owning a Pet

1. My life is likely to last ten to fifteen years. Any separation from you will be painful for me. Remember that before you acquire me.
2. Give me time to understand what you want from me.
3. Place your trust in me. Remember that before you acquire me.
4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, and your entertainment.
I ONLY HAVE YOU.
5. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words, I understand your voice when it is speaking to me. Be aware that however you treat me I will never forget.
6. Remember before you hit me that I have teeth that can easily crush the bones in your hand, but I choose not to bite you.
7. Before you scold me for being uncooperative, obstinate, or lazy, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I don't understand what you ask of me or perhaps I am not feeling well, not getting the right food, been out in the sun too long, or my heart is getting old and weak.
8. Take care of me when I get old, you too will grow old.
9. Go with me on difficult journeys. Never say " I can't bear to watch," or "let it happen in my absence." EVERYTHING is easier if you are there.
10. REMEMBER, I LOVE YOU !!

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Cat Commandments
Thou shalt not jump onto the keyboard when thy human is on the modem.
Thou shalt not pull the phone cord out of the back of the modem.
Thou shalt not unroll all of the toilet paper off the roll.
Thou shalt not sit in front of the television or monitor as if thou were transparent.
Thou shalt not project vomit from the top of the refrigerator.
Thou shalt not walk in on a dinner party and commence licking thy butt.
Thou shalt not lie down with thy butt in thy human's face.
Thou shalt not leap from great heights onto thy human's genital region.
Fast as thou are, thou cannot run through closed doors.
Thou shalt not reset thy human's alarm clock by walking on it.
Thou shalt not climb on the garbage can with the hinged lid, as thee will fall in and trap thyself.
Thou shalt not jump onto the toilet seat just as thy human is sitting down.
Thou shalt not jump onto thy sleeping human's bladder at 4 a.m.
Thou shalt realize that the house is not a prison from which to escape at any opportunity.
Thou shalt not trip thy humans even if they are walking too slowly.
Thou shalt not push open the bathroom door when there are guests in thy house.
Thou shalt remember that thou are a carnivore and that houseplants are not meat.

Thou shalt show remorse when being scolded.

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"PURR"-Litical correctness: Say it nicely, or not at all!!
In the state of political correctness, nobody is a "liar" they are simply "verbally superfluous". No one is a "housekeeper," they are "domestic engineers." See how we can apply this to the many activities of our cats:
My cat does not barf hairballs, he is a floor/rug redecorator.
My cat does not break things, she helps gravity do its job.
My cat does not fear dogs, they are merely sprint practice tools.
My cat does not gobble, she eats with alacrity.
My cat does not scratch, he is a furniture/rug/skin ventilator.
My cat does not yowl, he is singing off-key.
My cat is not a "shedding machine", she is a hair relocation stylist.
My cat is not a "treat-seeking missile," she enjoys the proximity of food.
My cat is not a bed hog, he is a mattress appreciator.
My cat is not a chatterbox, she is advising me on what to do next.
My cat is not a dope addict, she is catnip appreciative.
My cat is not a lap fungus, he is bed selective.
My cat is not a pest, she is attention deprived.
My cat is not a ruthless hunter, she is a wildlife control expert.
My cat is not evil, she is badness enhanced.
My cat is not fat, he is mass enhanced.
My cat is not hydrophobic, she has an inability to appreciate moisture.
My cat is not lazy, he is motivationally challenged.
My cat is not underfoot, she is shepherding me to my next destination
(the food dish).

Well said, and no cat's feelings have been hurt!

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We found some interesting facts and decided you may want to know them also. Some are funny and some are very serious. We hope you enjoy all of them, or maybe find something that may be useful for you.

Letting the Cat out of the Bag

We're all familiar with the saying "letting the cat out of the bag," which means disclosing a secret. But what is the origin of this saying? Apparently, in days gone by, unscrupulous pig sellers would try to con prospective buyers by popping a cat into a bag containing piglets. The animated activity inside the bag was meant to convince the gullible buyer that the piglets were "alive and kicking." But if the prospective buyer insisted on inspecting the piglets, the wily seller had no choice but "to let the cat out of the bag"!

Why do Cats Wash After a Meal?

A cat once caught a sparrow and was about to eat it when the sparrow said; 'No gentleman eats until he has washed his face.' The cat was impressed and set down the sparrow so that he could wash, but the sparrow flew away. This annoyed the cat so much that he vowed, as long as he lived, he would eat first and wash afterwards.

What do you call an eight-sided cat? ~~An "octopuss"~~

Cat People

An 'ailurophile' is someone who loves cats. Famous ailurophiles include Albert Schweitzer, Mohammed and writers T.S.Eliot and Colette. An 'ailurophobe' is someone who fears or hates cats. Julius Caesar and Napoleon were ailurophobes. Think about what happened to them. Need we say more?

The Mark of the Tabby

Christian folktale has it that while the baby Jesus lay restless in the manger and his mother fretted, a tabby kitten crawled up next to the baby and purred him to sleep. From that day on, tabbies have had the distinctive "M" on their foreheads as a reminder of the help they gave to Mary.

A Cat is a Lion in a Jungle of Small Bushes.

Falling Felines

Cats don't really have nine lives, but they certainly do have a knack for survival. According to the Guinness Book of Pet Records, a 1-year old cat named Patricia survived a 205-foot drop into the Willamette River in Portland,Oregon, in 1981. Fortunately, her unintended high dive caught the attention of some concerned fishermen, who rescued her from the water. On dry land, the high fall record holder is Gros Minou, a 2-year old ginger-and-white tom from Quebec. This feline daredevil plummeted 200 feet from his owner's balcony and landed in a flower bed--suffering only a fractured pelvis. He was back on his feet within a week.

The Cat Sees Through Shut Lids.

Cold Cat

When chilled, cats usually seek out an external source of heat such as a fireplace. They may also curl up, tuck their paws, and cover their nose and mouth to reduce their exposed surface area, cutting down on body-heat loss.

"Dogs come when they're called; cats take a message and get back to you later."
-- Mary Bly

"Cats are rather delicate creatures and they are subject to a good many ailments, but I never heard of one who suffered from insomnia."
-- Joseph Wood Krutch

"There are many intelligent species in the universe. They are all owned by cats."
-- Anonymous

"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
-- Albert Schweitzer

"The cat has too much spirit to have no heart."
-- Ernest Menaul

"Dogs believe they are human.
Cats believe they are God."

"Time spent with cats is never wasted."
-- Colette

"Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well."
-- Missy Dizick

"You will always be lucky if you know how to make friends with strange cats."
-- Colonial American proverb

"Cats seem to go on the principle that it never does any harm to ask for what you want."
-- Joseph Wood Krutch

D*gs Drool ~~ Cats RULE

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